I survived

At first I was afraid, I was petrified...ok, I wasn't really petrified, but by the crocodile tears running down my face as I sat in the fertility clinic business office this morning, you would have thought I was scared for my life. Don't worry - everything's great, I just got a little shaken up. I'll tell you why in just a second :).

First, let me recap what happened on Monday. After working 3.5 hours, I made the now-tedious drive to Vegas for my early cycle blood work and ultrasound. Seriously, the appointment made me a little angry, but I got over it quickly. I mean really, did I seriously have to drive all the way to Vegas for an appointment that took no more than 15 minutes? It's at times like those that I have to remind myself what the purpose of all of this is. Anyways, Monday's appointment was easy - 1 tube of blood and an ultrasound that showed all of my maturing eggs this cycle. Yeah - there is no doubt I have PCOS after that ultrasound. One day I'm going to draw some diagrams, take pictures of them and post them on my blog to explain PCOS better (because it's seriously so much easier to understand with pictures!) but for now you'll just have to try to understand my written explanations. Basically, a healthy woman without PCOS should have about 6-10 eggs each cycle. I had MORE THAN 20. Just how many more than 20 I'm not exactly sure (it wasn't too many more than 20), but still....that's nuts!! Anyways, it was oddly reassuring to see that my body was screwed up - it helps me know that we are doing the right thing by seeking help from fertility specialists. Anyways, the drive home Monday was horrible - thank you mom for keeping me awake by talking to me on the phone! Yeah, I was so tired I'm surprised I could drive at all. Yet another good reason why I stayed in Vegas tonight instead of driving home.

Ok, so on to today and my crocodile tears. First of all let me say that in the past couple of days I really started to get nervous about this HSG procedure today (it's supposed to be pretty painful). I shed a few tears at home wishing I didn't have to go alone and wishing I could know how painful it would be for me, but Jeremy's work schedule just wouldn't allow for him to come with me, and really, the only way I am going to know how painful it is is to have it done. Anyways, I got up bright and early today and was on the road to Vegas at 6:30 a.m. I needed to be at the clinic to do all my necessary paperwork by 9:30. I arrived with time to spare, and impatiently waited for my turn. I was finally called back, and that's when the drama began.

When I first had my consultation, I was told that I would have 3 diagnostic tests done in the surgery center affiliated with the clinic. One of those tests (a hysteroscopy) would require me to be put under anesthesia. Jeremy and I decided that we would forego that test (it didn't seem completely necessary to me at the time anyway) since having him there to take care of me after I was put under anesthesia would be difficult to manage. Well, today when I was filling out paperwork in the business office, I'm given a consent form to sign for anesthesia! Um, no, I'm not having that procedure done...I'm not going under...Almost immediately I started tearing up while telling the office manager (not sure if that's really her title, but that's what I'm gonna call her) I was not having a procedure requiring anesthesia. She then asked the xray tech who was there if I needed anesthesia for the HSG procedure (the one I was planning on having done that wasn't supposed to require anesthesia), and he said yes! Well, I pretty much lost it. I felt like such a big baby. I'm sitting in the office manager's office crying my eyes out thinking that I drove 3 hours on an almost empty stomach, took time off of work, got a non-refundable hotel reservation and stressed myself out about this, and now you're pretty much telling me I can't have the procedure done?! And on top of that I'm not allowed to pee because I have to have a full bladder (and trust me, I had to go!). Yeah, not a good way to start the day.

Anyways, to make a long story short, the doctor stepped in and told me that I indeed did NOT need anesthesia for the HSG, and that if I chose to have the hysteroscopy done today as well then she could just give me localized anesthesia, which would allow me to drive myself to the hotel. She also informed me that if the test I was supposed to have tomorrow showed anything in my uterus, I would have to come back the next week to have the hysteroscopy done anyway. If I had the hysteroscopy today, there would be no need for the test tomorrow. After an internal dilemma of what I wanted to do, trying to figure out things with my insurance, and calming myself down so I could make a rational decision, I went ahead with the HSG AND the hysteroscopy, both under local anesthesia.

So, without boring you with anymore of the details, let me first say that the HSG (which injects dye into my fallopian tubes to see if there are any blockages) showed the my tubes are OPEN! Yeah!! Secondly, during the hysteroscopy the doctor found 3 polyps that she removed from my uterus - polyps can implant on the uterus and take up space in areas where embryos try to implant. So it was definitely a wise choice for me to have the hysteroscopy done today. My follow-up consultation is Dec. 5, and that's when we will see where we go from here (sooo wish I didn't have to wait so long!).

Now, on to the pain part. In the past I have had to have numerous procedures done on my feminine parts. Generally I'm told by the doctor that I will feel some degree of pain or pressure, and generally, the procedure is pretty much done before I even realize she's started. Yes, I'm that lucky. Today I didn't get off so easy, but the cramping I felt with the HSG was no worse than my normal period cramps. Actually, my normal cramps last MUCH longer. One person I know of said that the cramping they felt was worse than labor pains...I don't know what labor pains feel like, but I consider myself lucky. I have a feeling the anesthesia helped :). I cramped a little bit off and on for the next couple of hours once the procedure was over, but that's been about it!

Anyways, let me end this since this is a super long post. I don't have to go in tomorrow since I opted to do the 2 tests today, but because I was tired and under the direction of my doctor I decided to stay the day/night in Vegas and drive back to Lake Havasu in the morning. It's been a pretty good day ( I got some shopping in and ate some good food :) ) but I am bummed that I didn't make it to the temple...I knew there was no way I could go feeling as tired as I do, so I will have to save that for another time. I was pretty tired shortly after the procedure, but I discovered long ago that if I nap during the day I have trouble sleeping at night, so I forced myself to stay awake all day. Add on getting lost driving around Vegas (I desperately need to update my GPS maps) and I'm exhausted. I think it's time for me to go enjoy the gorgeous view of the strip I have from my hotel room :).