Baby V's Mom

I can hardly believe that today marks 4 weeks since we picked up Baby V. Time is flying by, and each day I'm growing more and more attached to this child who people say looks just like Jeremy and I. We love this little girl, and although we don't know exactly what the future will hold for the 3 of us, we're enjoying every moment we can with her. She's starting to try to walk more and more, and just last night her first tooth started to pop through her gums. Those things combined with the fact that she seems to be growing like a weed are moments I have always wanted to experience, and I feel richly blessed for being able to be part of this little girl's life and be there for those special occasions, even if it is just for a small portion of time.

When Jeremy and I first started this foster care journey, we knew we would be surprised and sometimes shocked (like we were with Little J) at what "parents" are capable of doing/not doing to/for their children. Now that we have had the chance to actually have several children in our home, it completely bewilders us and sometimes leaves me speechless (I know, hard to believe!). Baby V is an incredible little girl. Sure she fusses when she isn't getting her way and screams bloody murder when she's cranky, but overall she is a delightful baby with the cutest giggle and a personality to match. She is soooo loveable, and I simply cannot comprehend why anyone would do anything to jeopardize being able to raise her.

I cannot reveal too many details, but Baby V's mom has had a lot of struggles in her life, and has some repeating trials that have led her to no longer having Baby V in her care. The first time I met her mother, I was nervous and anxious, but it was clear to me from the moment she saw Baby V that this woman dearly loves her child. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn't a mother who absolutely adores her baby girl - a mother who swore to me that she would do whatever it took to get Baby V back. A week later, though, she was telling Jeremy and I that she wasn't sure she could do what CPS was requiring of her, and that she just may give up.

I have mixed emotions toward Baby V's mom. First off, I admire the love she has for her daughter, and for some of the things I know she has done to give her daughter the best life possible. On the flip side, I have some serious doubts as to whether or not Baby V is going to be in a safe, secure, and stable home if she returns to live with her mother. And of course, I want Baby V to stay with Jeremy and I. We've grown attached, and we would adopt her in a heartbeat if given the opportunity. Actually, Baby V's mom told us at one of the visits last week that if she decides she can't get her act together, she very well may terminate her parental rights and request that Baby V be placed permanently - ADOPTED - by Jeremy and I. Yeah, you read that right! I honestly am not sure if she really gets a choice in the matter, but I hope she does if that's what ends up happening.

Anyways, only time will tell if Baby V gets to stay with us or not, and if her mom is going to put in the tremendous effort required of her to get her daughter back. She didn't show up to her last visit with Baby V, and I'm about to head off to visit 1 of 2 for this week, so we'll see if she shows today. Part of me wants her to, and part of me doesn't. Either way, it's her loss if she doesn't show up or if she doesn't get her act together, because her daughter is incredible. For now, I'm the one she is learning to call mama.

**Her mom didn't show again today. If she doesn't show up tomorrow, that will be the third one she's missed in a row. Policy is that if she misses 3 consecutive visits, all vists are cancelled until she contacts the caseworker and asks to have them reinstated. **